i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
that may or may not have been my penis.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
