i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
