Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Green mimosas i think yes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
