dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
