Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
