i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i love accidental penises.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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