my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
