Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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