It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
