don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to get me chipped asap
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
