So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
