He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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