Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize