So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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