i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
