What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
