Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
