Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
