So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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