she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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