good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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