Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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