Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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