Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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