I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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