someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize