the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
