I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
