Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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