my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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