my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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