You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i drank out of a bidet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
