Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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