hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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