The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
