My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I look better un-naked...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
