I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize