I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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