If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
