u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
