and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
