I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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