Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
