My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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