He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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