I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
