he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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