very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
