He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
