No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize