There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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