she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
