your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
