He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just had sex on a roof
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
