Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
