party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
