Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
