the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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