We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
