hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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