Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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