Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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