YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
